One act of kindness can change the world
Have you ever had one of those days where absolutely nothing goes right? Like from the moment you wake up, you’re in some weird alter universe where everything is off-kilter? I had one of them a couple of weeks ago. The day started out terribly. Then a simple act of kindness from a stranger made all the difference.
On that particular morning, my short drive to the train station played out like a Super Mario Brothers game – and by the time I arrived at office I had skinned my knee. (Just when you thought your morning commute sucked today!)
The problems started well before I left the house. I woke up in a coma-like daze after a fitful night of sleep. Too many things on my mind. Too many competing priorities. While I managed to get through breakfast without any major dramas, on the way out of the driveway our front gate got stuck. Again. For something like the tenth time in less than a year. (OK, I exaggerate for effect. It was more like the third time. But deeply annoying nonetheless. Pause, deep breath.)
After the (bleeping) gate issue, the next thing I know I’m cut off at an intersection by a car that hasn’t respected the right of way. (Pause, another deep breath.) Then as I turn onto the next street I get stuck behind a school bus, which proceeds to block the road as 30 kids disembark. (Yep.)
Once I finally have the parking lot in sight, an older gentleman pulls out of nowhere on a bicycle. Right into the middle of the intersection. Not a flicker of worry crosses his wrinkled face as cars whiz around him on either side to avoid a head-on collision. (Full-fledged yoga breathing by now…)
I finally make it to my parking spot and take a moment to recover from this odyssey before heading over to the train platform. Just as I thought the worst had passed, I accidentally step on a large piece of rock at the edge of a pothole in the parking lot. My ankle twists and I go sprawling face-first into the ground, bags flying, tearing my knee on the way down.
Not my most elegant moment ever. (And I don’t dare repeat what I shouted out at the top of my lungs to the universe in that moment of ultimate frustration.)
At this point the floodgates of self-pity opened and, for a brief moment, I considered giving up right then and there to go back home and crawl under the still-warm covers of my bed. Why bother, I asked myself? The universe is clearly conspiring against me today. Today… this week… this month… this year… my whole life…
Just go home, pleaded that persistent voice in my head as the vortex of drama picked up speed. Instead I hobbled over to the platform, resigning myself to a hideous day ahead and granting myself full license to be angry with the world. Watch out everyone…she’s fierce, she’s angry and she’s going to work!
When the train arrived, I fought my way over to an empty seat, plonked myself down, and closed my eyes to block it all out. Out of nowhere I felt a tap on my shoulder. What now, I asked myself exasperatedly under my breath?
It’s your stop, said a young woman as she pointed toward the train door. Looking up I saw that we had already arrived at my destination. In my reverie (or, rather, funk) I hadn’t noticed the time pass.
It’s a very windy walk if you have to come back over the bridge on foot, she said almost apologetically. I’ve made that mistake before. Her face was familiar, but it took me a moment to register: the woman from the lift.
She and I work in the same office building. On many mornings we arrive around the same time from our parallel commutes. And with this corresponding schedule, we often end up sharing the lift to our respective daytime worlds – at different companies, on different floors.
We had never exchanged more than pleasantries, in spite of our paths crossing this way for more than a year, so her gesture came as a surprise. She had no particular incentive to go out of her way that morning and help me out. She could just as easily have allowed me to miss the stop and discover yet another obstacle some minutes later. (A final obstacle that would have irreversibly set my fate for a difficult day ahead.)
How often have we found ourselves in a similar situation, where instead of lending a hand we justify ourselves? I’m running late today… it’s not my business… it won’t make a difference. Instead, this woman took a moment to reach out and help a fellow commuter; an imperfect human just trying to make her way in the world like everybody else.
It only took a few seconds.
She couldn’t have known that my gate was stuck at home and my knee was bleeding after falling into a pothole, and I wanted nothing more than to crawl under a rock. Or maybe she intuitively sensed that I could use a boost that day. Whatever the case, her act of kindness saved me from a penultimate morning obstacle. And, instead, she unknowingly became a catalyst of light in my life.
It’s not that I suddenly saw rainbows and unicorns. But her gesture dissolved my vortex of frustration into nothing more than thoughts and they immediately lost their power. Just like that. This act of kindness brought me back to the here and now – and reminded me that I am not alone. Even though some days feel like an uphill battle, we’re not alone. Our thoughts and worries and hopes and fears aren’t an end in themselves, no matter what the world throws at us.
One woman, a near stranger, offered me a small gift of kindness that morning. And in so doing, she changed the trajectory of my day.
